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Apr 2 2007->Oct 31 2015

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R.I.P. one for me
Remove R Comic (aka rm -r comic), by Gary Marks: R.I.P. one for me 
Please don't think me hard, or stiff, or that I'm stone walling you, or anything like that either. 
Caption: Don't think me cold as I make light of a grave situation.

comic search terms: R.I.P. one for me
comic dialog: Please don't think me hard, or stiff, or that I'm stone walling you, or anything like that either.

Caption: Don't think me cold as I make light of a grave situation.
     Vote for Remove R Comic (aka rm -r comic) on TopWebComics!
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The end
It is with a heavy heart that I make this decision, but this will be the last comic for rmr. I could lie to you and myself, and promise again to finish the Halloween story arc, and finish the characters' story lines, but I know I won't or can't do that. I haven't worked on them this year, and I can't seem to write an end for them. They've been like friends for such a long time, so to end that is just something I can't do. Below this post, is the dialog (which tended to change as I was actually doing the comics) for the remainder of the Halloween comic, in case any of you wish to read it.

I would like to take a moment and thank all of you who have stuck with me on this ride. I learned a lot about making a comic during it. If it wasn't for you, I would have ended this a long time ago, so thank you. I hope all of you have gotten some enjoyment out of it over the years. It started as a way to vent, with friends, and ended much more.

I'm going to take a break on doing comics for a while, but I do have a handful of creative projects I'd like to do in my free time, after the break. If you want me to let you know when they're done, just shoot me an email at gary-marks at hotmail dot com with the subject of "keep me apprised." Once I get back to working on creative projects, I'll probably start one of the following:
  • A scifi comedy webcomic with a set story arc, drawn a little bit like Calvin and Hobbes, or the zombie comic I just did.
  • A scifi drama/action comic. The style will be more comic book, less cartoon (probably). This is a larger project, and it also has a set story arc.
  • A superhero comic that takes place in several time periods.
  • Painting
  • Try my hand at writing a scifi book. I have several in mind/started/plotted out.
  • A children's book about aikido.

Again, thank you for bearing with me on this journey, and hopefully I'll run into some of you again, on a later project.

The lead up, not really part of the halloween comic

Well, this was definitely a blast, but perhaps it's time we went home.

Panel 1
Jacob: Ok, I'll admit it, that last one wasn't perfect...
Panel 2
Jacob: ...but there's another one near by that, according to the ad, is going fast.
Panel 3
Jacob: There it is!
Panel 4
Construction worker: Whoa whoa whao! What are you guys doing? You can't go in there.
Walkie-talkie: IN THREE... TWO... ONE!
Panel 5
Sound effect: BOOM! RRRUMMBLE
Jacob: Going, going, gone?
[more smoke than mirrors]
{I'm not blowing smoke up your ass, there's actually a new comic}
Oh, but water isn't included?

Panel 1
(standing next to rubble)
Jacob: Ok, I couldn't have predicted that, let's just hit the next ad I have here.
Panel 2
(building on fire)
Jase: On the bright side, I'm guessing that heat's included.
But water's included with this one.

Panel 1
Jacob: Well, there's one more ad near by, should we check it out?
Jase: Might as well. It's not like it could be any worse.
Panel 2
Jase: I stand corrected.

Halloween comic start

{You don't want to plug up his excitement, he might just blow.}
Panel 1
Jacob: Look, I know I haven't had the best of luck finding places to look at,...
Panel 2
Jacob: ...but I have an ad for a place that sounds amazing.
Panel 3
Jacob: It's a three story house, no, mansion, that's for rent, for almost nothing.
Panel 4
Jase: FINE! Let me see that ad!
Panel 5
Jase: Jacob, this is in the middle of nowhere, on an island...
Panel 6
Jacob: But look at the pictures.
Jase: Wow. Ok, those do look amazing, but with your luck, that island will actually be a volcano.
Panel 7
Jacob: Come on, we can get everyone and make a day of it, it'll be a real scream.
Panel 8
Jacob: One hot expedition? A real hoot? One hell of a good time? I mean, the place is red hot, no.. no.. BLAZING hot, it'll sell like a hot cake, be a blast. I don't know why you're all hot and bothered about this, you should just go with the flow, so we can strike while the iron is hot.
Jase: Please stop.

{Good grief, this trip might need a doctor before it's done}
Panel 1
Caption: Two days and hours of convincing later...
Panel 2
Jacob: Are we there yet?
Hope: No.
Panel 4
Jacob: Are we there yet?
Hope: NO.
Panel 6
Cassandra: Are we there yet?
Hope: Maybe.
Panel 8
Jane: Are we there yet?
Hope: Soon.
Panel 10
Jase: Heh. So, are we there yet?
Panel 11
Sound effect: tap tap tap
Panel 12
Hope: We were, but now we're not. Stupid time travel.

2. Not really getting this one. Nothing really wrong with it though. Here’s a suggestion:
Are we there yet?
Jacob: No
Are we there yet?
Jacob: Soon
Are we there yet?
Jacob: Maybe
Are we there yet?
(tap tap tap .. tapping flux cacacitor)
Jacob: Yes, but we've travelled through time and are now 2 hours in the past.
I'm almost afraid to ask, but are we there yet?
Jacob: In this universe or the alternate one?
(speedometer in each shot, 55, 65, 85)

[meet the creepy guy that warns them about the house]
{How does the second verse go?}
Panel 1
Caption: An indeterminate amount of time later.
(van turns into a gas station)
(the group wandering around the shop at the gas station)
(Sam and Jane outside, they run into an old man with a banjo, and an open banjo case)
Panel 4
Sam: Hey there. How's it going?
Old man: Eh, been better, but you're all doomed...
Panel 5
Panel 6
Old man: So doomed, that I'm gonna sing ya the doom song.
Panel 7
Old man: DOOM DOOM DO DO doom doom do DOOM
Panel 8
Passer by: Oh don't mind 'ol Ralf, bless is heart, he's a little broken in the head, but he's one fiiine banjo player.
(reluctantly Sam throws a dollar into the the open banjo case)
Panel 10
(in the car, jacob singing)
Jacob: DOOM DOOM DO DO doom doom do DOOM
(Everyone looking at Jacob)
Panel 12
Jacob: What? It's a catchy song.

{It certainly sheds some light on it, but what a jolt.}
Panel 2
Mandy: That's one hell of a shocking first impression.

(they're standing at the door and ring the door bell)
{Do you mind if we start off the tour with you showing me what the keys to the front door look like?}
Panel 2
Sound effect: DING! DONG! SCREEEAM!
Panel 3
Sound effect: CreeEEeek!
Panel 4
Wackelpeter: Welcome, my name is Frau Blucher, Frau Pferd Blucher.
Sound effect: NEIGH-HEH-HAHAHA!
Wackelpeter: But you can call me, Wackelpeter
Sound effect: MoooOOOOooooo!
Panel 5
Wackelpeter: Please come in. I'm the realtor slash grounds keeper. I was just showing another couple around, you should join us.
Panel 6
Jane: Wackelpeter...
Sound effect: MoooOOOOooooo!
Jane: ...right.. um.. we really don't want to intrude, we can just come back later.
Panel 7
Wackelpeter: It's no intrusion at all, please, come in. I'm sure you'll find it so comfortable, you'll never want to leave.
Panel 8
Sound effect: CreeEEeek! SLAM! click.

(flash of lightning)

{Well, I asked if anyone had anything for rent, and then listened to my closest million friends as they sent me classifieds.}
Panel 1
Wackelpeter: Let me just introduce our other guests, this is Mr. Mord, and his lovely wife Selbst Mord.
Seli: Please, just call me Seli.
Jacob: Hi. I'm Jacob. This is Jase, Cassandra, Mandy, Samantha, Sam, Jane, and Hope.
Panel 2
Jase: So, you guys like the place?
Mr. Mord: Yes, it's so quiet, so far from disapproving eyes. Mrs. Blucher...
Sound effect: NEIGH-HEH-HAHAHA!
Panel 3
Wackelpeter: Please, just Wackelpeter.
Sound effect: Mooo OOOO ooooo!
Panel 4
Mr. Mord: Right, sorry, Wackelpeter...
Sound effect: Mooo OOOO ooooo!
Mr. Mord: ...let us know about the place, and I can see us living out the rest of our natural lives here.
Panel 5
Mr. Mord: How did you hear of it?
Jase: Oh, you know, Craigslist.
Panel 6
Mr. Mord: Huh. I thought your name was Jacob. Hmm.. well, anyways, Craig, how did you hear of the place?

[start the tour]
Panel 1
Wackelpeter: As you can see, this is a very roomy building. Three stories, eight bedrooms, four full baths. It comes completely furnished.
(walking past lots of paintings, the eyes moving, some are of Wackelpeter, Thomas, and Seli)
Panel 3
Jacob: It even comes with all the paintings?
Wackelpeter: Yes, quite so.
(walk past one of seli)
Panel 4
Jane: Would we be able to repaint?
Panel 5
Wackelpeter: Oh heavens no, dear. I don't believe any of you would have the time to repaint all of these portraits, and even if you did, where would you find all these people again?

[continue the tour]
Panel 1
Jane: Wow. This place is really gorgeous. Why is it being rented out?
Panel 2
Samantha: Good question, if they needed cash, they could just sell some of their stuff.
Panel 3
(walking past a picture of wackelpeter)
Wackelpeter: Oh no, the owner would never want to get rid of anything in here. It all has such sentimental value.
Panel 4
Wackelpeter: They really just want to give the place some soul... er.. I mean that they want to add some spirit to liven the place up a bit.

[chandelier falls almost killing them]
(standing at the base of the spiral stair case)
[I guess they fell for that old trick.]
Panel 1
Wackelpeter: That's basically the whole of the house, except for the basement, would any of you like to join me in going down?
Panel 2
Sound effect: creeeeeek
Panel 3
Mandy: !
Panel 4
Sound effect: SNAP
Panel 5
Sound effect: CRASH!
Panel 6
Mandy: You know... I think that the chandelier just shed some light on my decision.
Jane: Really? It totally crushed my thoughts on the subject.

[house tells them to get out]
Panel 1
Wackelpeter: That was quite a scare, wasn't it? Come over here. Why don't you all just have a seat.
Panel 2
Wackelpeter: *ehem*... of that chair. Yes. Yes. Get out of that chair and into this one which is... um... much more comfortable.
Panel 3
Hope: I... I think the house just told us to get out, so we should.
Panel 4
Wackelpeter: What? Nooooo. It was just the wind.
Panel 5
Hope: That's it, when a house tells me to get out, I listen.
Panel 6
Hope: Nice try.

Well %^&%^$$. Only my hair got wet.

Panel 2
Thunder: BA-DOOM
Panel 4
Samantha: You know... maybe we should stay for a bit.
Panel 5
Thunder: BA-DOOM
Panel 6
Samantha: Then again...
Jane: Let's just get out of here while we can.
Panel 7
Mandy: Well.. I never thought I'd get wet looking at a house, but what can I say, other than...
Panel 8

Let's not cross this bridge until later.

Panel 2
Sound effect: Skreech!
Panel 3
Jase: Why are you stopping?
Hope: Wait here a minute.
Panel 4
Jase: You see something? Where are you going?!
Panel 5
Jase: Hope? HOPE!
Sound effect: Crack!
Panel 6
Jase: Why do I always get wood at the most inopportune times?
Sound effect: THUD!
Panel 7
Jase: Awww HELL NO!
Jacob: See? I told you my pogo stick van invention would’ve come in handy. But nooo, someone wouldn't let me install my "boing stick".

Hope: Well, I guess we can't cross every bridge we come to.

[Wackelpeter says they can stay the night]
{Now, now, if you can't say something nice, say it quietly, and out of ear shot.}
Panel 1 (them standing in the rain outside the door)
Panel 2
Wackelpeter: Come in, come in. I see you just couldn't leave. I don't blame you, this house has kept me here for years. It just has so much ghoulish charm.
Panel 3
(they step inside, drenched)
Hope: Actually, the bridge seems to be gone.
Wackelpeter: Oh, well, don't worry, there's a ferry that can bring you across the river in the morning. It's fairly cheap. Just a couple pennies, if I remember right.
Panel 4
Samantha: Do you mind if we warm up in here for a bit? We seem to be all kinds of wet.
Wackelpeter: Not at all. Please treat this place like home.
Panel 5
Hope: If I treated it like home, I'd rid of these hideous paintings.
Painting: Says the tart who looks like something the cat dragged in.

(all the paintings looking at her, mean like)
If I treated it like home, I'd do some redecorating.
Oh yes, that bridge has always been dangerous, but don't worry, there's a ferry that can bring you across the river in the morning, and it's fairly cheap. Just a couple pennies, if I remember right.
Not a problem. I'm sure the owner would want all of you to treat this place like home, while you're here.

[Wackelpeter shows each of them their rooms]
Wackelpeter: Now then, are any of you married?
Jase: No.
Wackelpeter: Right then, twin beds for everyone. The more the merrier, but it gets so hot in here.

Panel 1
Wackelpeter: Hmmmm.. none of you are married I see, so, Jase and Jacob, you can share this room. Cassandra and Hope, you can take the next one down.
Jacob: Trade you.
Panel 2
Wackelpeter: Samantha and Mandy, you can take the one across the hall here.
Samantha and Mandy: HELL YEAH!
Panel 3
Wackelpeter: Now THAT'S the spirit girls.
Panel 4
Wackelpeter: And that just leaves you two. I guess Samuel can take the one down the hall there, and Jane, you might have to bunk with Samantha and Mandy.
Panel 5
Samantha and Mandy: Awwwwww.
Wackelpeter: I know it'll be tight, but it'll be fine if you just cozy up a little, maybe play a game or two to pass the time.
Panel 8
Samantha: I guess we can find a tight spot for her to fit in.
Panel 6
Samantha (looking at Mandy)
Panel 7
Samantha & Mandy (looking at Jane)
Then again, I guess we can fit her into the fun.
I guess we can find a tight spot for her to fit in.
Yeah, ok, we can make her work.


Panel 8
Jacob: Excuse me, Wackelpeter....
Panel 9
Jase: Where are those cow sounds coming from?
Panel 10
Jacob: ...would it be OK if we made ourselves a snack?
Panel 11
Wackelpeter: Yes, please do. Eat whatever you like while you're here.
Hope (whispering to Jacob): Yeah, we definitely need to trade rooms.

[Jane and Samuel decide to wander a little first, then find a basement bar]
Panel 1
Jane: I think Sam and I are going to wander around a bit, before turning in.
Panel 2
Samantha: Don't go too far, bunk mate.
Panel 3
(Mandy hits Samantha in the arm)
Samantha (to Mandy): OW! You know I was just joking.
Panel 4
(Mandy starts to walk off)
Samantha: Oh, come on, don't be like that.
(walking after her)
Panel 5
(Jane and Samuel walks)
Panel 6
(Jane and Samuel near the stairs to the basement)
Jane: Huh, stairs. Shall we go down,?
Panel 7
(Jane, hand over mouth, playing bashful)
Samuel: OH MY! I will if you will.
Jane: Tee hee!
(Jane, hand over mouth, playing bashful)
Panel 8
(they sit down at the bar)
Samuel: Wow. What a nice bar down here. Now if only there were some spirits down here.
Sound effect: *POOF*
Ghost bartender: What'll you have?
Panel 9
(Sam and Jane running screaming)
Samuel and Jane: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Panel 10
Ghost bartender: Huh. I guess they weren't thirsty after all.
(putting a bottle of whiskey back on the shelf)

Panel 1
[Jacob and Cassandra raid the kitchen for a snack]
Panel 2
(jacob and cassandra preparing dinner in the kitchen, things are flying around behind their heads)
Panel 3
Jacob: I'm glad she let us fix ourselves a snack, but this kitchen really feels cramped.
Cassandra: I know what you mean. There's so much space, but I keep feeling like I'm going to run into something.
(pot whizzes past her head)
Panel 4
(they look confused)
Panel 5
(they turn)
(they see the pots)
(all the pots are hovering in the air)
Panel 6
(then they all fall to the ground)
Sound effect: KLANG! CLANG! Klang! KLANG! BOOM!
Panel 7
(Jacob and Cassandra run out of the room screaming)
Jacob and Cassandra: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Panel 8
(Jacob stops)
Jacob: Oh wait.. I forgot my sandwich.
Panel 9
(knife whizzes past his head)
Panel 10
Jacob: On second thought, I could stand to lose a few pounds.
(another knife whizzes past his head)

[Jase and Hope try to chill in their room]
Jase: You know, these rooms really aren't that bad.
Hope: The house told us to get out. Discussion over.
Jase: Fine. Fine.
(jase wanders over to a window)
Jase: Oh look, the rain is dieing down.
Jase: Wait, is that Thomas and Seli out there?
(Seli shoots Thomas)
Jase: OMG!
Hope: What was that?
(Seli climbs into a noose and kicks out a chair)
(flash of lightning)
Jase: OMG! OMG! OMG! We have to get out there!
(they race outside)
Jase: It was over there!
(he runs towards a tree and almost falls into a pit)
(hope grabs his arm and saves him)
(in the pit is a skeleton)
Jase: Screw this. I'm not hanging around anymore! This place has too many skeletons!

[Samantha and Mandy, talk with the other couple]
Mandy: ...so yeah, we're not even supposed to be here today. It's our day off, and we're not even looking for a place.
Seli: That's a shame, you two seem quite nice and peaceful, like your friends.
(Jane and Samuel run in)
Jane and Samuel: Ahhhhh! G-g-g-ghooost bartender!
(Jacob and Cassandra run in)
Jacob and Cassandra: Ahhhhh! H-h-h-haunted kitchen!
(Jase and Hope run in pointing at Thomas and Seli)
Jase and Hope: Ahhhhh! I s-s-see d-d-d-dead people!
Samantha: What are you all talking about? Mandy and I were just having a charming conversation with...
(samantha turns and Thomas and Seli are gone)
Samantha: ... where the hell did they go?

[They all end up huddling around a fireplace, scared]
(every huddled up around the fire, back to back, shaking, holding various implements as weapons)
Jase: We really need to start staying in on Halloween.
Jane: No kidding. It's like we just attract trouble around this time of year.
Hope: Well, at least we're all safe now. We just have to hold on until morning.
Samantha: We could take turns staying awake, that way someone's always alert.
Mandy: I'm not sure if I could sleep.
Jacob: If you want, I could tell you a story to take your mind off of things. I know this great ghost story?
(everyone glares at him)

[Next day, sun is out, Hope wakes everyone up.]
(the sun creeps up over the house)
(a ray of sun makes it through the window)
Hope: COME ON, COME ON! Everybody get up!
Jase: Honey.. it's morning. We are up. Well, at least three of us are.
Hope: Let's get out of this place! We should be able to go get the ferry now!
Jacob (still half a sleep): hmmm? What? Oh yeah... I love riding the fairy. Come back here Tinkerbell.
Cassandra (hits him in the arm): Not that kind. Now wake up!
(jacob mutters and rolls over)
Cassandra (whispering): I hear they're about to release a new Fallout game.
Jacob (wide awake): WHAT? WHERE? HURRY UP! LET'S GO GET IT!
Cassandra: It's all about motivation.
Hope: We're try'n. We're try'n! Geez. Can't a gal get a break?
(window shatters)
Hope: Ok everyone, time to go! Awake or not, to the van!

[Wackelpeter stops them and gives them the envelope with a "lease"]
Wackelpeter: Oh, good morning. I trust you all slept well.
Hope: I wouldn't put it that way.
Wackelpeter: But this such a nice place to be at peace.
Jase: That's one way to put it.
Wackelpeter: We'd also be willing to let you buy the farm next door, then you'd have plenty of space, and at the rate we'd be willing to give you, let's just say, it's the ultimate price.
Jane: You know, I just don't think we have enough spirit for this place.
Wackelpeter: I'm sure you'd do quite fine here, but the final choice is always yours. If you should happen to change your minds, here's everything you'll need to get filled out to stay here. I hope I see you all soon.
Hope: Go. Go. Go.

[They meet the real realtor as they run to their car]
(they're at their van)
Hope: I can't believe we made it out of there alive.
Realtor: Well hello there! My name is Malinda, and I'm the realtor for this property. Now before we start, I am obligated by law to tell you about its past. The last three owners of this property all died on the premises.
Realtor: The first, a grounds keeper, a Mrs. Pferd Blucher,
Realtor: died when a chandelier fell on her, but you don't have to worry, that chandelier was removed ages ago, and track lighting was put in instead.
Realtor: Then there was a murder suicide that happened. A charming couple, from what I was told, but they had their problems, but they hung in there for a long time, but I guess eventually they couldn't take it, and it ended with a bang. They're buried over by the old oak tree.
Realtor: Ok, now that that part is over, would you like me to show you around? It really is a rather nice property.
(group runs to the van screaming)
(Van burns rubber away from the house)
Realtor: Well that was just down right rude.


[Jacob opens the envelope in the car]
(Jacob starting to open the envelope)
Cassandra: You know, maybe we shouldn't open that.
Jacob: I just have to know.
(Jacob opens the envelope)
(Jacob pulls out a stack of death certificates, with their names on them)
Jase: That's it. You never get to pick an apartment to see, ever again.
(Van driving away from the house, laughing coming up from the house)
Caption: Here's hoping your Halloween is an absolute scream.

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