comic dialog: I don't know why that chair broke, you must've put on some weight.
Panel 1
Caption: Four reasons I'm not in charge of company lunches
Gary Marks: Hehehehehe
Panel 2
Gary Marks: LET'S GET READY TO RUUMMMMMBLE!
Panel 3
Gary Marks: Thank you all for attending. Our company has done quite well this year, well enough to give a bonus. If you would each look under your chairs, 1 out of 5 of you will find a loaded gun, last one standing gets the bonus, on 3. 1... 2...
Panel 4
Gary Marks: As a sign of our appreciation, I have decided to hire a stripper for everyone. They will give you a lap dance with a special finish. Unfortunately I didn't know people's preferences, or.. where anyone was going to sit, so male or female, it's luck of the draw. Enjoy!
Signs Gary
If I ever lie and say, "there were no signs I should work somewhere else," remind me of today, the day I came into work to see a bright orange sign. The sign says "Do not occupy until instected by:" and then checked is "Building inspector". You see they're doing construction and who know what they'll find, though I doubt it could make the place smell any worse. One week of urinal smell was fun, this week isn't much better. So yeah, if I ever say that there weren't signs, slap me in the face and tell me, "there were signs you blind old dingbat."
almost forgot Gary
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, the constant hammering 6 feet away is also a nice touch to the ork conditions. This is all in addition to the extremely long commute, but at least I knew that was going to be the case coming in, thought that is most likely the thing that will get me to leave eventually.